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the big dirty seeds

The big dirty seeds
Analysis of USDA data out of Washington State University shows that adoption of GE crops in the U.S. resulted in a 527 million pound increase in herbicide use between 1996 and 2011.

Big Ag’s Dirty Little Secret

According to industry data, most of the genetically engineered (GE) crops planted worldwide are designed for use with chemical herbicides, contain insecticides — or both.

Around the world, GE crops consistently have failed to live up to the promise — as touted by industry — of higher yields and reduced reliance on pesticides. Instead, these patented GE seed and pesticide packages have dramatically driven up the use of harmful chemical inputs — placing the burden of increased costs and health risks on farmers and local communities.

The “dirty little secret” of the pesticide/biotech industry? GE seeds increase pesticide use by design, intentionally boosting market share for corporations like Bayer (now merged with Monsanto) and DowDuPont.

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GE seeds sell pesticides

The strategy of stacking seeds with herbicide-resistant traits is deeply flawed. As “superweeds” and “superbugs” evolve resistance to GE crops and their associated pesticides, farmers resort to more chemical use, not less.

Not surprisingly, the same big biotech corporations that develop GE crops also manufacture pesticides engineered to accompany their seed products, which are the growth engines of the pesticide industry’s sales and marketing strategy. For the bottom line of these corporations, GE technologies are paying off.

For farmers, consumers and the food system? Not so much.

A package deal

Analysis of USDA data out of Washington State University shows that adoption of GE crops in the U.S. resulted in a 527 million pound increase in herbicide use between 1996 and 2011.

In 2011 alone, GE crops used 20 percent more pesticides on average than non-GE crops.

For the past 20 years, the primary herbicide used with GE crops was Bayer’s (Monsanto) flagship product RoundUp, with the active ingredient glyphosate. Now that weeds have developed resistance to glyphosate and human health concerns are emerging, this strategy has clearly run its course.

Bayer (Monsanto) and DowDuPont have now joined forces to bring a second generation of GE seeds to market — including 2,4-D-resistant corn and soy approved in 2014 — with the clear intention of duplicating the failed RoundUp Ready model.

Follow the money

As GE technology fails to live up to its promises worldwide, Bayer (Monsanto), DowDuPont, Syngenta and BASF — big biotech and pesticide corporations — continue to reach for profit.

With widespread sales of GE seeds and their accompanying pesticides dominating the market, profits for agrichemical corporations continue to rise. Monsanto’s (now merged with Bayer) net income, for example, doubled from $993 million in 2007 to $2 billion in 2008.

Reliance on GE herbicide-resistance has taken over the U.S. seed market in a relatively short period of time. Since their introduction in 1996, glyphosate-resistant soy climbed to 54% of U.S. acreage by 2000 — and accounted for 92% of U.S. soy acreage by 2008.

And not only are GE seeds more expensive than their non-engineered conventional counterparts, most are used with specific herbicides that cannot be substituted with cheaper varieties. The price of RoundUp Ready soy seeds tripled from $6.50/bag in 2000 to $17.50/bag in 2009.

Stopping the pesticide treadmill

We see it happening around the globe. Farmers in the U.S., India, China, South Africa and beyond are increasingly trapped on a pesticide treadmill — with farming communities exposed to health-harming herbicides.

To Big Ag, these growing pesticide sales are part of the business plan. But there’s too much at stake for farmers and rural communities to let corporate business plans control the food system.

It’s time to make a broadscale shift away from pesticide and GE reliance, and toward agroecological farming that supports resilience, healthy soil, local economies and food aplenty.

Hey, Happy, what is that yellow powder on your tool bag?

Transcript

03×17 – Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap

How long as he been like this?

Found him when we came in.

“How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds Or Less.”

Well, guess he was up all night prepping for that debate.

He’s pushing himself so hard.

I feel like it’s my fault.

Why don’t you get Patel to quit so that Sly can win alderman by default?

Oh, you don’t know my boss.

Patel is as competitive as they come.

I’ll tell Mr. Weiner!

I don’t want to know what he was dreaming about.

Uh, no, I-I was dreaming that it was the debate, but jocks from my middle school were snapping their towels at me.

I hate to ask, but Mr. Weiner?

My middle school gym teacher.

Cabe: Sly, you got to pull it together there or this debate is gonna be a bloodbath.

He’s not kidding.

If Patel senses weakness, he will pounce.

Oh, speaking of which, if I’m late for work he’ll pounce, too.

Thanks for breakfast.

Sylvester, good luck.

Toby: All right.

Let’s wake you up, get some tea in you.

In my dream, my boxers were made of pimento loaf.

What does that mean?

That you’re messed up.

Post-lunch dessert’s on us.

Froyo-Ma? Walt was banned from that place.

Not anymore, thanks to Paige.

She explained to me how the clerk interpreted his one loyalty-card punch per purchase policy, and despite him being completely wrong.

. I-I accepted that reasonable people could disagree, so I apologized to him for my behavior, because saying sorry is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.

Walter apologizing is a sign of the apocalypse.

But i-if it means we get to eat froyo.

Uh-uh. For after lunch.

I got to stop leaving him with you people.

I’m helping with his President’s Day assignment.

Getting him ready to cross the Delaware, so to speak.

And we got to get ready to cross the Valley.

We got a photo op at the Encino Petting Zoo.

Kids love comics.

You go in there and talk about keeping the Warlock’s Chest open, parents like you, you get votes.

I’m not going to a petting zoo, they have chickens.

And when I was in sixth grade, we went to a petting zoo, and the same jocks from my dream locked me in the chicken pen.

Beaks, talons, they’re covered in their own fecal matter; it was terrifying.

I can still hear Bucky Hanson laughing.

“Here is Sylvester, a chicken afraid of chickens””

Walter: Fear is irrational.

You’re gonna scare yourself out of this election.

You’re scared of snakes.

I was scared of snakes, until I reevaluated my position on them, from a rational point of view, and now my phobia is no more.

Self-improvement is my new passion.

Speaking of which, I’m gonna.

I’m gonna call that waitress up from Kovelsky’s who kept on pronouncing gyro as “jyro,” and apologize.

You’ve created a monster.

I’m gonna reread the Lincoln/Douglas debates.

We’re not done talking about the petting zoo.

Does that work for you?

Oh, I can’t even think about food.

I’m chock full of chia seeds.

I accidentally ordered a fauxmelet, a tofu omelet with chia seeds.

It was like somebody hocked up a loogie on my plate.

How did you accidentally order an omelet?

I don’t want Allie to see me wearing my reading glasses.

Why not? You look cute in your glasses.

Grandpas look cute in their glasses.

I’m a Marine, damn it.

She’s 15 years younger than me.

See? We’re like one of those sitcom couples where the woman’s too good-looking for the guy.

I don’t want to be Ralph Kramden to her Alice.

I don’t get the reference.

God, I’m a dinosaur.

You’re a darn good-looking man with a ton to offer.

Best tires have some wear on them, right?

No. People prefer new tires.

(whispering): Saved by the bell.

You startled me.

I wanted to thank you for the yogurt.

Also, I wanted to add.

I know exactly what you’re gonna say: “You and Walter have been spending lots of time together and does that mean you’re more than just friends?”

Answer: We’re not.

Actually, I wanted to say that I think you’re doing a terrific job.

Getting 197 to apologize?

That is amazing work.

Now if you just hand over one of those froyos.

Not till after lunch.

Cabe: Gather up, brainiacs, we got a case!

The Granse World Seed Vault in Greenland, built after the success of the Svalbard Global Seed Vault.

It’s an international cooperative of over thousands of varieties of every crop and plant you can imagine from over a hundred countries.

It protects crop diversity against catastrophes like the great famine that killed over a million Irish.

It ensures the world has backup seeds in case disease, parasites or climate change destroys agricultural output.

It also safeguards against warfare-caused starvation.

But cooler than what’s in the vault is the facility.

Unmanned 360 days a year, it is a doomsday structure built into a mountainside.

Has its own generators and computerized sensors to control motion, temperature, humidity.

And that’s the problem.

The whole system’s malfunctioned.

The vault’s heat and humidity have skyrocketed.

So the world’s backup food supply is in jeopardy.

Cabe: Exactly.

The World Seed Trust that monitors the vault has been trying to fix things remotely from their control center over in Finland, but they can’t navigate the multinational sourced code.

So let me guess, Scorpion does Greenland?

Uncle Sam has a jet on standby.

Sylvester: Ha!

It looks like I’ll miss the debate.

No, we’ll be back in time.

And get your head on right; I need you focused on work, not the debate.

Paige: He’s just nervous.

I’ll keep an eye on him.

Toby: Well, if this facility is as autonomous as Happy says it is, you, you’re not gonna need a behaviorist.

So how about I man the fort and I’ll help Ralph finish his project.

Paige: Translation: you stay toasty while we freeze our tails off.

Toby: Well, if the snow-shoe fits.

Don’t forget to pack your long johns.

Sylvester: Well, now we know why nobody ever comes out here.

We’re in the middle of nowhere.

The card the feds gave us doesn’t work.

Lights off, power’s out.

When the computer system went haywire, it must’ve drained the generator.

I can use the battery from the snowcat to give the genny a jump, once we open the doors.

There’s a tangle of jumper cables in the back.

You keep your eyes focused only on the snowcat, or otherwise.

You don’t need to warn me about getting lost in a blizzard.

Been there, done that.

Okay. So how do we get through electronic doors without power?

We can brute force our way in.

We just need to use Happy’s pry bar.

Got the battery, let’s light this fuse.

Well, this isn’t spooky at all.

Cabe: What’s with all the handcarts?

Inventory management robots.

They move those boxes of seeds about the vault even when no one is here.

Even more creepy.

Generator should be down here somewhere.

Walter (over radio): We’ll still have a few things to clean up once you find it.

I’ve just tapped into the vault’s diagnostics, and an electrical surge must’ve knocked out a fuse in the east wing breakroom.

We won’t be able to get full power back up until it’s fixed.

We found the generator.

You were right about the power surge.

And the generator’s also fried.

I can get minimal emergency backup power on, but that’s all we’ll have until I repair it.

Might take a bit.

I’ll go find the breakroom.

I may not be a genius, but I can flip a breaker switch.

And I’ll find the server room to see what caused the surge in the first place.

But since it seems you’re almost done.

You don’t want to wander the dark tunnels alone?

I’d prefer not to.

Well, then. let there be light.

Cooling system just kicked in.

Things should cool down now.

So much for this being an antiseptic facility.

Well, this facility self-purifies its air, but the system’s been down for days, so the seeds have decayed a bit, the vents are just stirring up seed dust.

Speaking of stirring up, I can only imagine what kind of trouble is being stirred up in the garage.

I worry about his maturity level.

Don’t. Ralph’s very responsible.

I was talking about Toby.

All right, now, channel your inner G.W. and send your troops over.

For one, there were no pirates on the Delaware.

What Washington did was illogical.

They were outnumbered, terrible weather.

That’s exactly why he did it.

He needed a bold move that no one saw coming, and he faced his fear, he took action and he was victorious.

Like Walter beat his fear of snakes?

Maybe, I don’t know. What.

Why is that important to you?

I know he likes my mom.

And the logical thing is to ask her out.

And the most common thing to beat logic is fear, so I figured he never asked her out ’cause he was scared.

And you thought if he conquered snakes, he could conquer all fears.

Listen, it’s. it is true that fear can beat logic, but. logic can also beat fear, and, uh, I think both your mom and Walter realized that the most logical thing for them is just to be good friends.

I know. I get it. You, you want Walter and your mom to be more than just friends, but.

Ralph, I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

Look, I’m-I’m not trying to poop on your parade here.

Hey. Let’s, um. let’s turn that frown upside down.

You want to, uh, eat everyone else’s else’s froyo?

Walter, I think I know what started the surge.

Sylvester: The server’s operating system is off by 51 seconds.

That’s a second a day since one second was added to the Atomic world clock on January 1.

But the programmers forgot to account for the extra second, so the vault’s operating system has been trying to reconcile that with the control room in Finland, which has the correct time.

So, the facility’s processor worked faster and faster, never able to catch up, creating an electrical surge that fried the generator and blew a fuse.

So the whole place went dark because the programmers forgot to synchronize their watches?

Sylvester: Right! But if I can get the operating system’s clock lined up with Finland’s, then I’ll have this fixed.

Is anyone else getting a weird vibe?

Like. like we’re not alone?

Cabe: You’re just scared of the dark.

Suck it up and get cracking, ’cause I just found the fuse box and I want us back to L.A. ASAP so we can do some debate prep.

Okay, it just feels like there’s eyes on me.

Paige: Sly, just know everything’s fine.

Listen to my calm voice, fix the server’s clock and we’ll be out of here soon.

I’m rebooting the system now to correct the time.

Should take 40 minutes.

Happy: Guys?

Did blast doors lock you in, too?

Yeah, I’m locked in, too.

Sylvester: Me, too.

And I’m kind of freaking out!

The vault prioritizes keeping seeds safe so it must go into lockdown when it’s most vulnerable, i.e. a reboot.

So the doors will open in 40 minutes when the reboot is done.

Everything is fine.

No, everything is not fine.

(skittering in distance)

They’re in here. They’re in here!

♪ Scorpion 3×17 ♪
Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap

(Sylvester screams over radio)

Walter: Sylvester, do you copy?

What the hell’s in there with him? Get him out of there.

I can’t. With the emergency power back on, the magnetic field is engaged, I can’t just force my way in.

These doors are sealed tight until the reboot’s done in 40 minutes.

Listen to him, he doesn’t have 40 minutes!

Then the only way these doors can go up is if Sly manually disengages the locks from the command console and we get full power up and running.

Sylvester: Get me out of here!

To do that you need to repair that generator and then Cabe needs to fix the breaker.

Easier said than done.

Damn thing’s stuck tight.

I’ve never heard Sly like this before.

We have to help him.

Okay, I’m gonna get the closed circuit TV on now so we can see him.

Hold on, hold on.

He’s quiet now. Sly?

Are you okay? Can you hear me?

I was right, I am not alone.

Who’s in there with you?

Not “who”. but “what.”

H-How did chickens get in?

Sylvester, how many chickens?

I’m in their coop.

What’s wrong with him?

I have no idea, but I know who to ask.

Well, to steal Happy’s line, not good.

I am sending you the security feed now and linking your phone to our comms.

Okay, well, those are bona fide fear responses.

Sly, pal, I’m watching you on the monitors right now, and there are no chickens in there with you.

They are all over!

The cameras must be broken or something!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m-I’m-I’m sorry, I, uh, I see ’em now, Sly.

Uh, call me back on my cell right now and conference in Happy and Cabe.

What’s wrong with Sylvester?

(phone ringing) I don’t know, buddy, but whatever it is, it’s serious.

Toby: Hey, guys.

I didn’t want Sly to hear us.

What are we hiding from him?

The fact that he’s in the midst of a complete psychotic break from reality.

Now, telling him he’s imagining those chickens will just agitate him and make things worse.

How did that happen?

It could be anything from bacteria in something you guys ate on the flight to a brain tumor.

Now, let’s first make sure you guys are okay.

Do you feel any headaches, or dizziness, or ocular flashes?

Nothing, I’m good.

No complaints here, except my arthritis is acting up.

You don’t have arthritis, Cabe.

Tell that to my hand, I’ve been trying to flip this breaker and it won’t budge.

Joints are killing me.

Again, they shouldn’t be, because you don’t have arthritis.

Hey, Happy, what is that yellow powder on your tool bag?

Happy: Seed dust.

Okay, now, this-this could be an issue.

What kind of seeds?

Rye. Why is that important?

Because that is not seed dust, that’s seed fungus!

Claviceps purpurea, commonly known as ergot.

Now, when the humidity increased in the vault, ergot spores were formed.

The vent turning on spread the fungus.

Who breathed it in?

Walt and I are locked out in the entrance, no vents here.

So only Sly, Happy and Cabe.

What does it do to you?

Toby: Its neurotropic traits cause hallucinations, specifically affecting the fear center in the brain.

In short, Cabe, Sly, and Happy are going to experience their deepest fears.

We’re gonna do what?

Cabe Gallo does not hallucinate.

Okay, so they have a living nightmare and after a while they wake up?

No, no, they are not nightmares, they are false realities.

And they’re so genuine that people take dangerous actions to end them.

In doing so, they could hurt themselves or others. Hey, Happy?

Anything you might be starting to feel is not real.

It’s all in your head.

Sorry, I got to go.

The bell just rang.

What-What bell? No, no, no, there’s no bell. Happy?

Happy, there’s no bell.

Good afternoon, children.

Happy and children: Good afternoon, Ms. Weldy.

So today, we have visitors.

Prospective parents who are looking for that very special child to help them form a family.

So, best behavior.

They will be watching.

And that means no wrenches, no ratchets.

A proper toy for a proper lady.

I’ll be better this time, Ms. Weldy.

Who the hell’s Ms. Weldy?

Paige: Why does it matter?

Because if we’re gonna talk these guys down, I need to know what psychological baggage the fungus is unpacking.

I’ll hack public databases, see if I can find a Ms. Weldy connected to Happy in some way.

She’s my fiancée. I’ll do it.

You can’t, your hands are too full.

Toby: No, Cabe!

Don’t go full zombie on me, man!

Cabe, can you hear me?

Allie: Arthritis acting up again, honey?

Still working the fuse box?

Yeah, I’m having trouble with it.

That’s ’cause you were alive for so long before electricity was invented.

It’s still new to you.

What kind of casserole is that?

Kale, flaxseed, macrobiotic grains.

What should I expect from a man whose social security number is one?

Let’s curl up on the couch and watch a movie.

We could watch Jurassic Park.

Might bring back some memories for you.

But no movie for me.

A new club opened up and I’m going dancing.

You wouldn’t want to come, would you?

I can’t go dancing.

On account of my arthritis.

Walter: Cabe’s brain’s gone.

He’s talking about dancing and arthritis.

He’s gonna wish the only thing he has to worry about is arthritis.

Sly’s symptoms started first, so I’m keeping an eye on him and he’s getting a little unsure of foot.

What does that mean?

Toby: It means they’re in trouble and we’re on the clock.

Look, if ergot exposure was extensive– and now it appears it was– it constricts blood vessels, especially in the brain.

If vessels are constricted, it means less blood flow; less blood flow means less oxygen; less oxygen means.

Walter: Coma.

You think they could all fall into a coma and die?

No, I am saying they will fall into a coma and die in the next 30 minutes if we don’t get them out of there.

Toby: As we speak, they are all still inhaling fungus because I am sure that vent sent out microscopic molecules all over the place.

So we have to move fast before exposure reaches critical mass.

The only way to open the doors is if Sly uses the manual override from the command console, Happy fixes the generator and Cabe repairs the fuse.

And none of them can do that when they’re out of their minds.

So we put them into their minds.

We talk ’em lucid so they can finish their tasks.

Okay ,um, I’ll take Happy ’cause I know her best.

Cabe trusts Walter.

And Paige is left with Sly.

From what I can see, you got your work cut out for you.

Get away from me, you foul fowl.

Paige: Oh, boy.

Sly, you need to move across the room to the command console.

You need to pull the door release.

I will deep-fry the lot of you.

Paige: Sly, if you don’t listen to my instructions you are going to die.

Paige: Sly, don’t go under that desk.

I will be safe under here.

Sly, I said don’t go under that desk!

Now I am protected.

Paige: Sly, just pull the lever!

Sylvester: They can’t to get me in here.

I am never leaving this spot.

Paige: How do I get Sly to pull a lever if he can’t even hear me?

I’m having the same problem with Cabe.

He’s in a complete other world.

Cabe? Respond to your name.

(echoing): Cabe Gallo?

Announcer: Cabe Gallo!

Welcome to the show.

It is time to play.

Ray and audience: Older than dirt!

Today’s contestant is so old, he got a special thanks in the Bible.

His birthday candles caused global warming.

And if he were to act his age, well, he’d drop dead right here.

Say hello to Cabe Gallo!

Don’t I know you?

I don’t know. Do you?

It’s your hallucination, brother.

Let’s play, shall we?

First question: which of the following things would Allie be shocked to learn didn’t exist when Cabe was born?

(countdown music playing)

Was it manned spaced travel, portable calculators, or tape cassettes?

(grandfather clock chimes)

I don’t want to play this game.

The answer is all of these.

All of these things didn’t exist when Cabe was born a full decade and a half before his current girlfriend.

(bell chimes) Allie likes me just the way I am.

(studio audience laughter)

Ray: Next question.

What grade was Allie in when you married your first wife?

I don’t want to play this game.

Well, nobody does, but we all have to play it eventually, even badass, ex-football-playing Marines.

Walter: Cabe. Cabe, what are you doing?

Toby, he’s-he’s hunched over.

I think he has an invisible cane or a walking stick.

He’s moving like he’s a hundred.

All right, can’t help right now.

I’m trying to figure out who Ms. Weldy is because Happy’s talking to her and I have no idea what this all means.

Wonderful news, children.

So many of you have found your forever homes.

When I read out your names, you can go and meet your new mothers and fathers.

Sean, Jamal, Theo, Antoine, Isabelle, Roseanne, Ronin, Janine, Abigail, Owen, Kanti, and Steven.

Could you check your list again?

I’m so sorry, darling.

Maybe next time.

I can be normal. I promise.

Well, there is one last shot, but I’m not sure it’ll work.

Could we try, please?

Maybe the next one will like me.

Okay. I’ll return in a moment.

Ralph: I found her.

Mavis Weldy ran the Canoga Park Home for Children 20 years ago.

She’s reliving every time she was rejected for adoption.

That is Happy’s darkest fear: being rejected, being alone.

Happy Quinn, this is Dr. Curtis.

I’m a doctor of psychiatric medicine.

I can tell right away you’re not happy.

I’m just nervous, Doc.

Oh, crap, she’s talking to me.

Her biggest fear isn’t being rejected; it’s that I’ll reject her, too.

Happy, Happy, hey, listen to me, I would never do that.

I’m not sure about this.

You know, if I commit to her, I’m stuck with her for the rest of my life?

There’s got to be something wrong with her if she’s here, right?

Happy: I try hard.

I’m just a little bit different from the other kids.

Well, I’m not so sure this will be the right fit.

No, you promised to be with me for life.

You proposed to me.

I think I’d regret this decision.

I don’t want her.

Ms. Weldy: I understand.

I’m so sorry, Happy.

Maybe next time.

But I’m perfect for you.

Toby: Oh, no, she’s looking tired.

Happy, please do not close your eyes.

Ralph, if Happy falls asleep she’s history, and we can’t undo it.

But what if we could?

Like you told me earlier.

Logic can beat fear.

So let’s be logical.

All fear has a genesis in history.

If we go back and undo that moment.

Then their darkest fears will cease to exist.

They’ll be lucid enough to take the steps needed to get through those blast doors.

Um, Walter, Paige.

We have an idea.

I’m all ears ’cause right now I can’t coax Sly out from under the desk.

You need to go back to the point when these fears started and attack that seminal moment.

If a match is never struck, a fire can never burn.

Sly said that his fear started with Bucky Hanson at the petting zoo.

And Cabe started feeling weird when he wouldn’t wear reading glasses in front of Allie.

You guys go after those two moments, rewrite history.

Got it, but what about Happy?

She’s been alone since she was a child, and I’m gonna put an end to that.

Toby/young Toby: I’m Tobias.

Young Toby: I’m new here.

Got anything to eat?

What’s left of my lunch.

I like Evel Knievel.

I want a motorcycle one day.

I thought all the kids were adopted.

Is that why you’re sad?

Besides, I knew that nobody would want me ’cause I’m defective.

That’s not why you’re still here.

We just exited the ’90s.

The Spice Girls had number one hits.

Half the women in America are wearing a haircut called “The Rachel,” and everyone’s investing in a Web site called, “Ask Jeeves.”

This is a decade where everyone’s making bad decisions, so anyone who doesn’t want you in their life?

That’s just another bad decision.

Mmm, nice. Tuna fish.

I like your hat.

Will you marry me?

Uh, we just met, and we’re eight.

You know who I am, and my biggest regret in life is that we really didn’t meet when we were eight because I would’ve fallen in love with you from that moment.

The truth is you’ve never been alone.

My love for you has always been there.

It just took a while for our paths to cross so I could share it with you.

And under all those neurotoxins in your head, you know I’m right.

You have nothing to be scared of, ever.

Doc. what’s going on?

That generator over there?

To save yourself and your friends, you have to fix it, fast.

Guys, I got through to Happy.

Now you have to take care of business on your end.

Trying, but Sly isn’t cooperating.

Well, then get tough with him.

Okay, here it goes.

Paige: Look at Sylvester, hiding in a coop.

Bucky: . just where a chicken should be.

Stop teasing me, Bucky.

Come out so I can pluck your feathers.

You should’ve never locked me in here with these creatures.

Aw, you want to go tell the teacher?

Come pull this lever and go tell them.

Paige: I don’t get it.

He’s faced a lot worse than an 11-year-old brat.

Mom, in Sly’s mind, he’s my age.

He doesn’t know all the brave things he’s done.

You have to tell him.

Good point, honey.

Coward. Knew those stories about you weren’t true.

That you jumped out of a plane, captured a poisonous snake, helped save a boy from a sinkhole.

Wait, I think I did do those things.

No, you didn’t, you weenie.

Don’t dispute the facts.

Facts are my forte; I never get them wrong.

Then why is a hero hiding from chickens?

I think it’s time you reconsider your facts, bucko.

Fact: I leapt off of a cruise ship.

Fact: I went into a cave full of bats.

Fact: I punched a man in the face in prison.

Fact: what you did to me in sixth grade was mean, but.

I’m not scared of you anymore because I’m a man, and I can be brave sometimes, you little turd.

And I’m still telling on you.

Come on, Sly, you can do it.

Time to take a load off.

Toby, Sly pulled the lever, but he’s sleepy.

You said sleepy was bad.

Sleepy is the first step to coma, and Happy is starting to slip, too.

Fighting that fungus wiped them out.

Walt, all we need now is for Cabe to fix that breaker, and we can open the doors and get them out.

I can’t get him to move.

He’s just sitting like a statue.

Well, Paige and I have to try to keep Sly and Happy awake.

Just get him to flip that damn switch! Do it!

I don’t know how to talk someone out of being scared.

I can’t relate to that kind of emotion.

Paige: Really?

‘Cause you seem pretty scared now.

Your biggest fear isn’t snakes, was it?

It’s problems you can’t solve.

Now do what you did with the yogurt guy, and put yourself in Cabe’s shoes.

Okay, uh, I’m Cabe.

I like steak and Conway Twitty.

I’m scared of getting old. Why?

Because of death?

No, Cabe faces death all the time, so then why?

I got it. I got it.

Cabe, listen closely.

You don’t fear getting old; you fear weakness.

I can understand that.

When I can’t solve a problem, I-I feel weak.

I feel powerless.

I feel useless because my identity is intellect, and yours is strength.

You are a military man, a government agent, someone who is strong for their friends, but when you fear weakness, you feel that you’ll lose your identity because of it, and the people that you care about, like Allie.

God? Is that you?

You sound a lot less confident than I thought you’d be.

That’s because I’m worried about you, but I shouldn’t be because getting old is not a detriment.

It is a strength.

With age comes experience, knowledge and wisdom.

What you’ve forgotten, others will never know.

And what you’ve lived, others only read about.

What you can do, others can only dream about.

Cabe Gallo is stopped by nothing.

Certainly not by fungus and fear and.

Wait, what are you doing?

I’m gonna flip that damn breaker switch.

I did it, son, but.

Walter: Cabe? Cabe!

Guys, he’s unconscious.

So are Sly and Happy.

They got it done, but it’s too late.

They’re all in comas.

Okay, they’re unconscious; let’s just load them onto the snowcat and take them to the closest hospital.

Toby: I already looked it up, it’s two hours hours away!

They need immediate medical care or they’re never gonna wake up.

You’re the doctor and on another continent.

I-I really don’t think there’s a nearby pharmacy out here in the tundra.

This whole building is a pharmacy.

It houses the greatest seed collection in the world.

We can synthesize a treatment.

I’ll hack the vault’s database, find the location of whatever you need.

Okay, okay. Uh, let me think.

First, we’re gonna need plant seeds with an antifungal polyenes to attack the ergot.

Ralph, look for bachelor’s button, also known as basket flower.

And then, we’re gonna need to mix it with a highly concentrated anti-inflammatory to bust open the circulatory system and allow blood to get back to the brain.

Oh, um, alpha-Linolenic acid is found in chia seeds.

Tracking it all down now.

Guys, this treatment needs to be given to them in the next few minutes or they’re gonna suffer permanent neurological damage!

Still one problem, we never planned on going inside.

To get the seeds and our friends, we have to go through ergot-saturated pathways.

We’ll wind up whacked-out like how they were.

Not if we don’t breathe in heavily contaminated air.

The oxygen pipes run through this facility as part of its preservation system.

Now, if we tap into this, then we can inhale fresh air the whole trip.

Tap into it how?

It’s ten feet high.

PVC pipes bracketed to the wall!

Tear it off while I hack into the main server and increase the pressure in the oxygen pipes.

You mind telling me why I’m vandalizing a seed vault?

I’m building up pressure in the O2 pipes so small that fissures crack open.

Pure oxygen will pour out.

And we’ll use the PVC to breathe in untainted oxygen along our route inside.

Toby: That should work, but you guys will still get some ergot into your system.

Not enough to go full nutbar, but if you start seeing pink elephants, know that they are not real.

Walter: Got the PSI to the tilt.

Oxygen conduits should start cracking. now.

All right, we’re going to take a big breath before we go through this door.

Oh, my God, it’s freezing in here!

It’s the refrigerant system to store the seeds.

But it should have just low levels of ergot, like Toby said, not like the tunnels.

So if we’re in and out quickly, we should be okay.

Ralph, find us our seeds.

Aisle A, box 1032.

Bachelor’s button flower from Austria.

From Guatemala, aisle C, box 5306.

Walter: Yep.

Paige: Found it. Nice work, honey.

Toby: Now, you’ll need to make a high oil extraction from the seeds.

Start by grinding them into a powder.

Walter, you’ll need alcohol.

Now, pour a few ounces over the powder, burn it off and you’ll get an oil.

Okay, I don’t have matches or a lighter.

So, I’ll have to improvise.

We did it, we got the oil!

Great, now you just got to put it under their tongues to get it right into their bloodstreams.

It’s potent. If it’ll work, it’ll work instantaneously.

Oh, no. I think I inhaled too much ergot.

I’m-I’m seeing a purple flame.

You’re not hallucinating.

Potassium chloride, a component in deicer, burns purple.

So, when I lit the alcohol, a spark must have caught the sacks on fire.

Need I remind you that right behind that door is a tunnel filled with very flammable oxygen?

If those any of those flames reach that door, kaboom!

That whole place will be blown to pieces!

Toby, the flames are spreading and I have no way of putting out a chemical fire!

Why the hell is there even deicer in here?

It snows outside, not inside.

It’s to prevent the ice buildup in the refrigerant tanks.

We can use the carbon dioxide in the refrigerant tanks to build a fire extinguisher.

Now, Paige, the others don’t have long, so go give them the oil.

And I will put out this fire.

You’re okay, come on.

Oh, I had a messed up dream.

Tell me about it later.

Right now, you need a bit of fresh oxygen and then we got to save the others.

I made it through the ’60s clean, just to trip out in 2017.

Dirty hippies, gross.

Every breath increases a chance of relapse so hurry up outside.

Toby, how’s Walt doing with the fire?

Toby: Flames burned out the vault’s closed circuit TV.

I lost contact with him while he was building the fire extinguisher.

I have no idea if he’s okay or not.

Oh, wait, I see him.

You ready to get out of here?

Yeah, I think I got a little ergot on the brain.

Guess I scared Mr. Dodd off.

I don’t scare that easy!

Better late than never.

Please take your position at the lectern and we can begin.

You got this, kid.

Go on, Sly. Come on.

Are we ready to begin?

Yes, and I would like to apologize for my lateness.

I was out of the country working for Homeland.

Patel: For the record, Mr. Dodd is not employed by Homeland.

He’s only an independent contractor.

Uh, may we let the moderator begin, please?

Moderator: The comic book store seems to be the basis of your platform, so please address it.

Uh, I believe that eminent domain is abuse of government power.

Really? Was it an abuse when the Erie Canal was built?

No, but it’s not 1825 and the stakes are a lot smaller than enabling the American shipping industry to get from the Atlantic to the Midwest.

The matter at hand is taking private property to help, not the populace, but a big box store.

The kind of store grown-ups go to.

I patronize the Warlock’s Chest.

I had a tough childhood, I was picked on.

Make-believe was my refuge.

I found solace amongst the fantasy and I would gather up my courage to face another day.

And trust me, when I was a kid, I needed courage just to show up at school.

And I need it now for my job.

But the difference is, with Scorpion, I have a team to help me remember that I can be brave.

And if the Warlock’s Chest will provide refuge for more kids who don’t know they’re brave yet, well.

I want it to stick around.

Wow, he’s doing great.

Patel: Brave?

You ran away from your problems by hiding in a comic store.

Sounds chicken to me.

Sir, I know chickens.

I have been around chickens and I, sir, am no chicken.

For example, I fear public speaking, and yet, here I am, facing my fear, kicking your ass in a debate.

Moderator: Moving on.

You want to get a bite after this?

Moderator: What would you say to voters who may be looking.

But no Vegan Thrill, okay?

I hate that place.

Been there a dozen times.

Hated it every time.

Look, I’ve been terrified about our age difference.

I hate kale, I need reading glasses and I enjoy getting senior discounts.

But the thing I’m really crazy about is you.

You’re the first woman I’ve really enjoyed being with in a long time.

But I got to know that you’re comfortable with me the way I am: a little weathered and stronger for it.

‘Cause I can’t change who I am and I wouldn’t want to.

Those years make me who I am.

Sylvester: . out of town to replace with a behemoth.

I like classic cars, vintage clothes, Sinatra.

You fit right in my wheelhouse, Mr. Gallo.

Sylvester: . which I have, you’ll see that those jobs you’re mentioning are all part-time.

Looks like you did a good job knocking that fear out of Cabe.

Walter: I guess I did.

So, that fungus really makes you see your darkest fears, huh?

Yes, in most basic terms, the amygdala and the cortex that contribute to the fear output are affected.

Oh, it’s all very interesting.

Did you see something?

A fear of yours?

I got to get some air.

Sylvester: Any problem can be solved.

Did you notice anything weird about Paige?

Yeah, ergot can mess with you for a few days, she’ll be fine.

She just needs to sleep it off like my little princess here.

. all politicians die.

Man, she had a rough one.

I hope she’s having sweet dreams.

She deserves it.

Ms. Weldy: Good afternoon, children.

Children: Good afternoon, Ms. Weldy.

Young Toby: Hi, I’m Tobias. I’m new here.

I like your pigtails.

Did you know the term “pigtail” comes from a twist of chewing tobacco?